It’s awfully rare for a professional sports franchise to change its name unless they are relocating. The NFL’s Washington Commanders, NBA’s New Orleans Pelicans and Cleveland Guardians of Major League Baseball recently did so. But hypothetically speaking, what if all 32 NFL teams had to drop their current names and switch to something else?
We came up with one fitting new team name idea for all 32 teams by using a mix of humor, history, alliteration, and creativity. So, with that, let’s dive into one new name suggestion for all 32 NFL clubs.
What will your favorite NFL team be called if their monikers are changed?
Arizona Cardinals: 47ers
Among all active North American sports franchises, the Cardinals have the longest championship drought — having last won it all in the 1947 season.
So why not pay tribute to the franchise’s glory years? And for good measure, enrage the NFC West rival San Francisco 49ers by almost stealing their team name. A 47ers vs. 49ers showdown has a nice ring to it!
Atlanta Falcons: Dirty Birds
The ‘98 Falcons came out of nowhere and made an improbable run to Super Bowl 33.
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That team was known as “The Dirty Birds”, and star running back Jamal Anderson had an excellent play on it by doing his signature “Dirty Bird” TD celebration. We have no problem with the name Falcons, but “Dirty Birds” sounds cooler and more menacing for an NFL team.
Baltimore Ravens: Bulldogs
“Bulldogs” is a popular sports team name for youth, high school, and collegiate teams. It’s overdue for a professional sports team to adopt the name, so why not Baltimore’s NFL team?
Baltimore Bulldogs is a beautiful alliteration. And the team name feels perfect for a franchise that has always built its identity on a ferocious, hard-hitting defense.
Buffalo Bills: Crushers
It’s a fierce-sounding team name for a football team, but we also think it fits the Bills perfectly since they do nothing but “crush” the souls of their own fans.
From losing four straight Super Bowls in the ‘90s to the Music City Miracle to the “13-second game” to “Wide Right II,” the Bills just don’t let their fans have nice things. May as well make humor out of it, no?
Carolina Panthers: Coasters
North Carolina is known for its history of crafting historic battleships. Why not pay homage to the state’s rich history, thereby having a ship-related team name? “Carolina Coasters” is a crisp-sounding alliteration, too.
I mean, it’s not like the “Panthers” team name is synonymous with historic team success or anything…
Chicago Bears: Cyclones
Chicago is known as the “Windy City,” so why not have a play on the city’s nickname here?
“Chicago Cyclones” had a nice sound to it compared to “Chicago Bears.” We know it’s a historic NFL team name and all, but Windy City isn’t exactly known for its bear population.
Cincinnati Bengals: Bungles
“Bungles” became a popular nickname for Cincinnati’s NFL franchise during the ‘90s…because the club had slipped to the NFL basement following two Super Bowl appearances in the 1980s.
Though Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase have restored relevance to the Bengals franchise, this is still an NFL team that keeps choking when it matters most.
They didn’t win a single playoff game between 1991 and 2020, and they made a bundle of mistakes in Super Bowl 56 against the Los Angeles Rams — absolutely gift-wrapping that Lombardi Trophy to Sean McVay’s squad.
So yes, “Bungles” still applies here until/unless the Bengals win a Super Bowl.
Cleveland Browns: Dawgs
The Browns’ nickname is “the Dawgs”, and there’s a section of their stadium called “The Dawg Pound.” Honestly, why not just adopt this team name and switch up your logo?
The “Browns” NFL team name is a tribute to the legendary Paul Brown. We get that. But the name lost its luster years ago, and we hate the boring logo of a football helmet. Just retire the “Browns” name and go with something cooler like “Dawgs” already.
Dallas Cowboys: Chokeboys
The Cowboys have been the NFL’s biggest chokers since 1996, and that won’t change as long as Jerry Jones is in charge.
Dallas last won the Super Bowl in the 1995 season. They haven’t been to the NFC Championship Game ever since. For those who love the “Cowboys” team name, at least “Chokeboys” isn’t that dramatically different?
Denver Broncos: Elways
John Elway left the Broncos organization after the 2022 season, but he’s also the entire reason why this franchise has some relevance in the first place.
Elway quarterbacked Denver to five Super Bowl appearances — leading them to back-to-back titles in the 1997 and ‘98 seasons. Also, he was the key reason why Peyton Manning chose the Broncos in 2012 free agency.
Without Elway’s work as an executive, the Broncos wouldn’t have won a third Super Bowl in the 2015 season. Without Elway, this NFL team would be nothing — so the organization could pay tribute to the Hall of Famer by swapping out the “Broncos” team name for “Elways.”
Detroit Lions: Kneecap Biters
Please do this, Lions. Please! Your team name has been synonymous with losing and dysfunction for the better part of the past 60 or so years.
Get a logo of Dan Campbell’s face with a Lion or a player biting off an opponent’s kneecap. Detroit owes it to Campbell, given how quickly he’s turned this franchise around since the infamous “bite off a kneecap” soundbite.
Green Bay Packers: Lombardies
The Packers wouldn’t be the historic franchise folks know and love today without the great Vince Lombardi. They named the Super Bowl trophy after Mr. Lombardi, for crying out loud.
If the Browns can name their team after Paul Brown, the Packers can do so for Mr. Lombardi. And given his significance as a historic figure in American Football, it’s a team name everyone can get behind.
Houston Texans: Huskies
For those who didn’t pay attention in geography class, allow the Houston Texans NFL team to remind you that the city of Houston does, in fact, play in the state of Texas.
But come on, naming your team based on your geographical reason? How about some slick alliteration. With the “Huskies” team name, Houston could retain its normal color schemes and come up with a crafty logo of some sort here.
Indianapolis Colts: Stallions
We know “Colts” has been the team name forever, but “Colts” just feels boring and unoriginal.
How about keeping the horse-themed team name but making the simple switch to “Stallions”? That rolls off the tongue better, and a “Stallions” name would give the Colts a good reason to finally drop that awful horseshoe logo.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Relocaters
London, Orlando, and Toronto are just some of the many major cities that have been floated as possible relocation sites for Jacksonville.
Whether Jaguars fans like it or not, it feels like the rumors and talks about potential relocation will never fully leave Duval County. May as well switch the team name to “Relocaters” and prepare for the possibility of moving.
Kansas City Chiefs: Swifties
Travis Kelce’s relationship with Taylor Swift has brought more international attention towards the NFL’s model franchise. If Kelce and Swift end up staying together, why not rename the Chiefs the “Swifties”?
Who knows how many Swifties became Chiefs fans over the past year? And who knows just how much Kansas City’s NFL team would sell in merchandise by adopting a “Swifties” team name and logo of the Grammy Award-winning singer.
Las Vegas Raiders: Aces
Many fans wanted the NHL’s Vegas Golden Knights to instead be named the “Aces.” The Golden Knights name has grown on most of us by now, and with “Aces” there for the taking, the Raiders may as well capitalize on the opportunity.
QUICK, before the Oakland Athletics franchise moves to Vegas and steals the “Aces” name!
Los Angeles Chargers: Blowers
The Chargers are part of the NFL’s “sad club,” a franchise that has never won the Super Bowl. They have a long and sad history of blowing close games, just like the Bills and Bengals.
But with “Crushers” and “Bungles” off the board in this exercise, how about the “Blowers” team name? At least Bolts fans can get a good chuckle out of saying, “Our Blowers blew it again,” every time they perform a “classic Chargers” moment.
Los Angeles Rams: Spartans
“Spartans” might be the best team name option that hasn’t been picked up by any NFL, NBA NHL or MLB team.
If the Rams decide to switch their name down the road, how about another menacing team name like the “Spartans?” They would have limitless options for designing a creative logo that would top the rather lame logo the organization dons today!
Miami Dolphins: Sharks
Dolphins are adorable and such loving creatures. But you’re supposed to inflict pain and fear on your opponents in football…so maybe the Dolphins should pick up the name of a much more ferocious and aggressive creature like the Sharks?
The last two generations of Miami fans didn’t grow up in the glorious Don Shula days, so it’s not like there’s much historical significance to the “Dolphins” team name.
Minnesota Vikings: Heartbreakers
Take your pick between the Lions, Vikings, Browns, and Bills as the NFL’s saddest fan base. While the Browns and Lions appear to be on the rise, however, the Vikings don’t look to be anywhere close to competing for a Super Bowl.
Vikings fans have endured too much heartbreak over the last quarter-century. The Gary Anderson miss. Brett Favre’s interception. The Blair Walsh miss. On and on it goes…
Every year ends in heartbreak for Vikings fans. So Minnesota should follow our suggestion here and try to have some fun with it by adopting the “heartbreakers” team name.
New England Patriots: Bradys
So it’s clear that Tom Brady meant more to the Patriots dynasty than Bill Belichick, as evidenced by the franchise’s fall from grace since TB12’s departure.
Like the Broncos with Elway, the Pats would have been NOTHING without Brady. Though we all love the “Patriots” team name, it’s not a bad idea to swap out that name for the greatest NFL player to ever live, either.
New Orleans Saints: Gators
The state of Louisiana is known for its large number of swamps as well as its giant alligator population.
“Alligators” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as “Gators,” so allow us to take a page out of the Florida Gators’ book by shortening the name. “New Orleans Gators” sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?
New York Giants: Miracle Makers
The Giants weren’t supposed to win Super Bowl 25 in the 1990 season with a backup QB in Jeff Hostetler, but that’s what they did.
They weren’t supposed to beat the undefeated New England Patriots in Super Bowl 42, but they did thanks to David Tyree’s helmet catch. They weren’t supposed to take down Brady and Belichick again in Super Bowl 46, but the 9-and-7 Giants did just that.
The Giants’ history of creating miracles to complete special underdog stories should be etched into a new team name. So why not “Miracle Makers”?
New York Jets: Jesters
Hey, it’s always a clown show or circus in New York Jets land. Eric Mangini ratting out Bill Belichick in Spygate…Rex Ryan’s odd soundbites…Mark Sanchez and the butt fumble…this whole Aaron Rodgers saga…
Time to fly away from the “Jets” NFL team name and switch it to something that defines the organization: Jesters. Or Jokers. Either one.
Philadelphia Eagles: Commodores
We personally love the Eagles team name and logo and hope it never has to change. But this exercise forces us to devise a name change idea, so we must comply.
Philly is one of America’s most historically significant cities. So, “Commodores” works for a team based in the city where the Declaration of Independence was signed.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Pioneers
Pittsburgh’s other two major pro sports team names are the NHL’s Penguins and the Pirates of Major League Baseball. Why not retain the trend of names that start with “P”?
Plus, Pioneers works nicely for one of the NFL’s oldest and most historic franchises.
San Francisco 49ers: Strikers
Going back to the topic of nice-sounding alliteration…
Strikers are commonly used for high school sports team names, but no professional sports team has adopted this name. “San Francisco Strikers” works nicely in a variety of ways, especially when you picture guys like Fred Warner and Nick Bosa trying to “strike” at the opposing QBs.
Seattle Seahawks: Emeralds
When Seattle was granted a new NHL franchise, “Emeralds” was floated as a possible team name. And why not, with all its trees, Seattle is known as “The Emerald City.”
And we just can’t help but think of the gorgeous emerald color schemes that Seattle’s NFL team could come up with.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Swashbucklers
Hopefully, the Buccaneers never have to change their NFL team name because that would mean dropping the slick logo and getting rid of the pirate ship.
So let’s stay on the topic of adventurers who dress lavishly and carry swords. The pirate ship at Raymond James Stadium can stay in place with moderate renovations. Man, “Swashbucklers” just sounds so nice.
Tennessee Titans: Wolverines
The Titans dropped the “Oilers” team name in 1999 and switched it to Titans. “Tennessee Titans” does have a nice sound to it, but we’re not super high on the team name in general — nor do we care for the logo or color schemes much.
“Wolverines” is a much better team name. And it would fit the Titans’ identity since they’ve always built their identity on winning in the trenches. Or, as we like to call it, “bully ball.”
Washington Commanders: Senators
Many folks wanted Washington to change its NFL team name to “Senators” before they settled on “Commanders” ahead of the 2022 season.
There is the NHL’s Ottawa Senators, and of course, the “Washington Senators” were an MLB franchise from 1901 to 1960 before they relocated to Minnesota and became “the Twins.”
Senators work so much better as a team name for a club based in the nation’s capital.
