Colton Underwood knew he was gay for a long time, but that does not mean he was always happy about it. The former NFL player is admitting he struggled with being gay so much that he used to abuse Xanax as a coping mechanism.
“I was suppressing my sexuality so hard that I was taking medication daily to deal with depression and anxiety, and that made me a paranoid freak,” the former “Bachelor,” 29, says in his new Netflix docuseries, “Coming Out Colton,” which premieres on Friday.
“I didn’t trust a whole lot of people, and I was trying to do anything and everything I could to protect a secret,” he recalls.
In the midst of crying, Underwood shared he really “hit rock bottom” one night when he “took a lot of Xanax” in the hope that he would not “wake up the next morning.” That suicide attempt came shortly after his breakup with Cassie Randolph in early 2020.
“I started to spiral,” he confesses . “I was f–ked up. … I lost my mind, and I did some things, I said some things that I’m not proud of.”
“I did f–k up,” he says. “I made mistakes, and I will take ownership in that.”
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Underwood played defensive end at Illinois State and was signed by the San Diego Chargers as an undrafted free agent in 2014, and was on the practice squad of the Oakland Raiders and Philadelphia Eagles.
